Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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