White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
