We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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