matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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