She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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