but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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