Please, let me fuck your mom
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
