yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
