i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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