I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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