My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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