Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
