garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
