I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
