They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
