Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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