I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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