If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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