Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
