Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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