just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
