wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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