i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
