Umm I'm too high to move.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.