I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.