can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila