Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think i have herpe
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate