Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground

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(480): I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground http://tfl.nu/mit9

Replies (22) Good night (1033) Bad night (4287)
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(281): View more from Texas

I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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(281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve. http://tfl.nu/asc9

Replies (6) Good night (6659) Bad night (1072)
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(207): View more from Maine

So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.

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(207): So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town. http://tfl.nu/b29o

Replies (32) Good night (7720) Bad night (2409)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.

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(225): He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that. http://tfl.nu/0p85

Replies (28) Good night (1271) Bad night (4721)
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(248): View more from Michigan

after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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(248): after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup http://tfl.nu/a67v

Replies (22) Good night (1132) Bad night (8859)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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(907): Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong. http://tfl.nu/skna

Replies (8) Good night (2734) Bad night (757)
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(406): View more from Montana

Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!

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(406): Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you! http://tfl.nu/h6a1

Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (716)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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(405): Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card? http://tfl.nu/2f9h

Replies (8) Good night (1731) Bad night (903)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.

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(570): Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer. http://tfl.nu/iju5

Replies (12) Good night (1600) Bad night (1175)
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(716): View more from New York

i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.

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(716): i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs. http://tfl.nu/9d6u

Replies (10) Good night (1441) Bad night (614)
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(830): View more from Texas

Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.

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(830): Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point. http://tfl.nu/e159

Replies (13) Good night (548) Bad night (1247)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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(630): i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out http://tfl.nu/xbjc

Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (453)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."

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(630): Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick." http://tfl.nu/sgnz

Replies (13) Good night (756) Bad night (1344)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers

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(778): Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers http://tfl.nu/9sqe

Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (342)
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(309): View more from Illinois

You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.

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(309): You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable. http://tfl.nu/j22p

Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (394)

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