This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
