pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
