So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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