Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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