But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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