I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize