she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
