My friends, they love my intelligence
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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