Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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