Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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