why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize