pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
