oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
