thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
