There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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