Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
