And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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