everyone is single if you try hard enough
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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