I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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