I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
