If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my being single is dangerous.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize