Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
