Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
