we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish you could order shots online.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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