We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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