He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
