She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
