I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
