Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I look better un-naked...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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