take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
