I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
