shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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