I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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